Time after time, new chapters & new books

It's been a while since I don't feel the same... luckily. (Which luck is sometimes searched for).
It's been a while since I discovered new places on myself, that brought me new ways of being and seeing, that started new beginnings...

A white blank page, as good as it sound sung by the Mumford&sons, started being written and it is being so. This white blank page that is getting all coloured up, by emotions, thoughts and experiences.
I wish I could put into words or into a drawing a little bit of what I mean.

Spring is the season after a cold winter when flowers start to let their perfume be smelled, birds let their voices be heard, people are seen in the streets of a medieval town, and medieval walls & streets.. though the people are not medieval, at least not as much as the medieval times.
 I lived a pretty spring last year, it's like it's been going on since then. Of course I've lived summer, autumn and winter too, and they have been good. But I believe spring is not just a time of a year, it's an allegory of the way I'm feeling. Walking on a path, that has it's stages and flowers and birds, they come, they go...
 I have realized it's almost spring again and it seemed yesterday that the last one started. That's why I wrote time after time, because suddenly I see myself finding this first signs of spring.
 I like life and living.

XO

Chapter seventeen

An you said yes as I said please...

When you find yourself in a situation that you don't want to change, a situation that you know you can live all your life; you just wanna live everyday intensly with who you want, when and where and how you want... Finally this is where Pe arrived, at this status where life goes by fast, and it can go beautifully fast. The only person to make that choice is you, yourself.

Life is fantastic. Really, really.

Chapter sixteen

Sixteen, when I was sixteen, oh my, my, my.. Everything started when I was sixteen, there had to be a time where it had to end, this prolongation of being sixteen; I didn't had to be sixteen anymore. I am not sixteen anymore.

I can now say, happier than ever, I ended being sixteen. And yes, now I am at another age, but right now this is what I am living. I'll go on living where I am, because I am having a great time doing this.

This last months I've been very busy, not just with my work to do, luckily. I have had so many new things to know about, to discover, and still got things to keep on knowing... I am now a person who loves herself and is not afraid to love all the others, to discover The Art of Loving. -This is the book which I am now reading and sharing.
(Erich Fromm, 1956)

As I said once in a post, or maybe thats what I pretended, my nightmares went away once and they didn't come back. So it is my intention to let it be like this, I really don't want them to come back. I am now very happy with what, who, where, how, and when I am doing.
[It is now true that is useful to know about the 6 W].


Ps. It was -and it is- magnificent.

Chapter fifteen

Finally, Pe's time came. She was so nervous because this time,  it wasn't like all the others no; this time it changed her. She felt like she was doing the right thing with the right person, also she knew that as much as she desired to kiss him, he desired to kiss her.
Before it happened, they talked about it, they discussed it, one made the proposal and the other asked him to do it if that's what he felt. They did it, it was pure magic. They never had felt that special, that good.
Some stories start leaving things behind, he did that, Pe did that. They were both on the same page, both waiting for it to happen, both liking each other that much.. it's hard to explain, but it was like a dream, one of the hardest things to believe.

Chapter fourteen

Little Pe is prepared to do the thing she thinks, they have to be said and done. It's the time!

Just as this song says, you were always on my mind --> http://youtu.be/xFWZLEVM-Lg

PS. Pe discovered the meaning of Arrows, FINALLY!!!! They are once pulled back, to go forward.
You can consider that not just with arrows, also with life, and not in a bad way. Things result the way they do for a reason, we should all agree to this (even that it is really hard to do).

Some of the most important persons choose to step a way from you and, obviously, that hurts. This is why you always have to step up and think that those people have been aside you for a long time, and there might have been a reason for that. Remember as it was, as beautiful as those times were; but don't forget to take a step forward.

We learn to fall but also learn to walk ahead.



PS.2: This is what I have seen (and learnt) today: http://youtu.be/jNFJbvOBEyc

Chapter thirteen.......

Thirteen..... What a number.... It really has been a bad luck year, generally for most of us. I have lost one of the most important persons for me, with this loss I have lost almost all (phisically it is noticeable).
But with this experience I have learnt; I have learnt what I really miss and what I really want, but not just for now, for later too. This is what I finally figured this two bad months, I have realised that I got what I didn't know I wanted, but I lost it, I let it go. And whatever you have realised, I just wish it is really what you want. (After all I care so much about you, that I won't mind your decision), I just ask you to think it well.



[ Just listening to the wonderful group --> http://youtu.be/VRQD5_G-400 ]

Chapter twelve

The time has come for Pe, to fight for what she really wants. The least she has to do is try!!!

At least she has figured out what does she feel and wants to still feeling.

Chapter eleven

The time has come, Pe. Be prepared, life's ahead!

Chapter ten

Well, you must be aware of what you caused to Pe. It wasn't easy in the first place, hurting her didn't make it easier. It's time you aknowladge that by hurting someone you will not feel better. Be aware of what you say, and how. If really what you want is not to hurt Pe.

Chapter nine (new beginnings)

Finally Pe understood, after a long time and lots of thinking, that if things happen in a way it's because they should be like that, and not different. That was thought by Pe, but not seen, she could tell she believed that but she didn't see it for herself. When finally one day, she woke up and she thought and saw that. And then everything started anew.

Chapter, new chapter, chapter eight

Well, finally Pe had the moment that she expected. After that she was devastated. She could no longer believe that things could get better those next years ahead of her. And sure, she still doesn't. It's too obvious when you loose something that you'll never ever find in another person. Even that she's told there's lots of things ahead, she knows it will never be the same.

Chapter seven

Pe is just waiting for that moment to come.

Chapter six

And one time after another Pe is still confused.... everyday she's more and more confused. Little Pe lost in the center of the ocean is not able to choose where to go yet, no, not yet(and she doesn't know when she will know). So for now, she'll just flow.

Chapter five - BIG DECISIONS

Tomorrow Pe gets to get close to reality, yes, the big day is tomorrow. However she has had the time to accept what's coming ahead of her; all this new decisions to take care of.. Just because there's a new stage means the end of another one, and that's how it is; so Pe is excited of all this new things that are going to start happening tomorrow. Excited could be taken as bad excitement or good. Anyhow, what it is it just is and it can't be changed. -Dear Pe, just be aware of what's ahead of you, take care, xoxo

Chapter four (yes chapter three is far behind)

Chapter three: the confusing time for Pe.
Chapter four: the reality viewed directly from Pe's eyes. Anylonger she had to be shown how reality was. Or at least how it was viewed for those that wanted to show her "reality, the truth of life".
-Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. I am now the one who will see reality by myself, I am not being shown anymore.- she whispered quietly to her own mind.

Chapter two

Pe loved nothing else than being and leting her be herself. 

Happy Pe returned, she heared: 

-Welcome home!!! Nice to have you back Pe!!!-

As she had gone somewhere else, far away. But she didn't, she just had some time when she wasn't her, eventhough, they said it right. Her animic status caused Pe to feel far away, it was like she hadn't been there those last months. Which was quite that actually; the important thing: Pe got back into her track!!! 

La dansa del vestit

Cookies and sweets are made with love.

Opening day

Last night, Pe finally realized that his negative thought about how it will all end, is not negative. It is just realistic. She tried to be optimistic all this time, but Pe finally gave up, specially when he let her see the reality. He finally stopped being negative, she finally stopped being optimistic. In the end they became neutral, for good, but that caused to fade almost everything away. 

They realized they'd be torn apart, and nothing could stop that tearing. It's the end of the world as we know it. 

And then, the next day came.. The "opening" day. Everything opened up to their eyes. Reality.

Once, maybe twice..

For a long time I have been worried, maybe too worried. It all took me to realize that whatever will happen next, it will just be one step more for us. I have told you, you know, whatever comes ahead it's going to be a tiny little step more for us to upgrade as persons. Now, as you say so, we don't have to worry about that, because whatever happens it will happen. And that doesn't mean it's going to make us worse persons. Let's just let it carry us away in whatever direction it takes us. -the beginning of the new beginning- Chap. 1

Oops...

Okay, that sounded like a joke.. Just this year has been very stressful I now, promise my self to write at least once a week!! Starting... Next week!! No. Starting on the next entry which will be now XOXO